Navigating Humans at Work

Over the course of eight weeks, March through April, I had the opportunity to reconnect with many friends and former colleagues. People met over twenty years ago at the start of my career, through dear friends from my most recent stint at a startup. As we bonded over meals, hikes, and yes the occasional drink the thing that seemed to come up time and again, when it came to frustrations at work, was always around influencing and communication.

There is a notion, that work, relationships, and life as a whole would be easier without others, "standing in the way". A very human thought regardless of age, tenure or heights of achievement. I know I’ve been in that headspace before. The thought that if “they” would just “get it”, things would be easier, but that’s just not how life works.

So, if you are having a moment, where someone is grading on your nerves, have your moment, then get practical as to how you will navigate the situation. Below you will find my quick tips on how to navigate other humans. My preferred approach is via influence, be prepared, this isn’t for the faint of heart.

Influencing (and communication) is what I attribute to my fast rise and overall success in the tech world. Being in Human Resources often means having all the responsibility but none of the authority. We often must get big people-related initiatives done and done well. To do this it is best to bring others along and have them buy in rather than hitting them over the head with policies or laws. And to be clear, I know HR is not the only department that struggles with having responsibility without authority, but I’m just speaking from my experience and the skill it helped me hone.

I could fill a whole course on how to influence, but here are a few tips to get you started on playing the long game of influence*. There is a short game version, but we’ll leave that for another post.

Principles of Influencing:

1. Build trust by delivering. You will never be able to influence if you can’t deliver on the basics of your job. If you want to accelerate trust building, hone a reputation for delivering with excellence. And in my definition, excellence means, on time (or sooner) with high quality. Yes, there is a potential catch-22 when you become the go-to person and begin to feel overwhelmed, but it’s also an opportunity. When you are forced to get focused on priority setting, organization, automation of tasks, etc. you will succeed without burnout. Happy to cover these topics separately – for now, just remember to do what’s required of you and do it well to build trust.

2. When you are ready to step in and begin flexing your influence muscle – start with determining the best mode of communication. Will it be a quick meeting, an email, PowerPoint, spreadsheet? Hopefully, you’ve been paying attention to how your audience likes to digest information AND how best to tell the story you need to tell to get your point across.

3. Determine your key message while also ensuring you are addressing the objections and desires of your audience. If you frame the argument in terms that are most important to them – what they want and what they don’t want – it will make it easier for you to build your case. 60%+ alignment to their desires is typically enough to get them open to your solution. Once they are open you will negotiate the finer points at which time you can make the appropriate concessions.

4. Practice/revise your pitch. Whatever format your influencing will take, practice, or revise as much as possible. Anything that is written must be free of spelling errors and grammatically correct. If you have a spreadsheet check and recheck your formulas. If it’s a conversation, jot down your bullet points on how you will deliver the message. Whatever the mode, DON’T rely on some otherworldly power to step in, do the work!

5. And listen. If you are getting a no, or a maybe, pay attention to the objections and concerns. Don’t push your agenda just because you think it’s right. Really analyze where things aren’t working for them. Thank them for their time and feedback and go back to the drawing board. It might require enlisting the help of others when you take another crack at it but keep at it.

6. Finally, don’t give up, stay strong and resilient.

How does this resonate with you? Did I miss something, or do you want to know more about a particular point? Please do let me know as I’m super passionate about this topic. Learning to influence is a game changer; you will improve your career and accelerate it when you master this skill.

*If you are interested in learning more about how to influence, give me a holler. I am in the process of creating a master class on this topic, but until then I am opening a few spots of private coaching that will cover this topic in the context of career acceleration. And don’t be shy about the private coaching – it is at a reduced cost for early to mid-career clients (read not yet at Director+).