Hiking the Pali trail is hard, and what I learned

Lanai from Pali Trail

I recently hiked the Lahaina side of the Pali trail on Maui. It is a 2.5-mile hike to the summit, with 1400 feet of elevation gain, across unyielding terrain of various sized lava rock that was more like using the StairMaster than hiking. Don’t get me wrong, there are breath-taking ocean views, where I saw some whale activity, but the landscape is stark and the sun inescapable. So why did I set out to embark on this difficult journey? It all started when my husband began training for the John Muir Trail, years ago.

I was always a little jealous of him. I longed to be in virtual isolation, communing with my thoughts and nature. But for the longest time I was also unsure if I could challenge myself in that way. I’ve known I was strong and resilient in some ways (read – I know I am a competent HR leader), yet there were many places where I felt weak, insecure, and anxious. What business did I have setting foot on a trail, beyond hiking a fire road in the foothills of the Santa Cruz mountains? And yet, I wanted to be out there, to conquer my inner demons and be one with the land, regardless of the effort.

Can you relate? Is there something in your life, you’ve entertained in fleeting moments, or maybe in earnest daydreams. To hike, travel, or eat alone at a Michelin rated restaurant? To do something that in many ways feels impossible for you, though others may do it effortlessly? Hiking was that dream for me. I often coaxed husband to do a short and easy hike with me because I was too scared to go alone.

I have historically been slow at most physical activity. Slow walker, runner, cyclist, swimmer, you name it, I was slow. And given my desire to not inconvenience others, I didn’t want to ask anyone else to come along. Based on my general anxiety and worry, I also didn’t want to go alone, because what if??? What if I injured myself? What if there were nefarious people on the trail, wanting to do me harm? What if I couldn’t find my way back? What if I couldn’t find the trail head?

Anyway, hiking in those early days was a struggle. Whenever we went, I would get winded and my legs would ache, my feet would be sore, and it would feel so grueling that we wouldn’t do more the 3-5 miles at a time – hardly a hike by most people’s standards. When we lived in Tahoe, I found the flattest or least steep hikes to “conquer”, but at elevation, those were also challenging as you naturally remain breathless with any exertion. I am proud to say, that eventually, I did venture on my own, though never deviating from three trails I was most familiar. This took the better part of the 5 years we lived in Tahoe and required much self-soothing, and journaling to prevail.

In July of 2019, my husband and I were on Maui, and we got it in our heads to try and hike the Pali trail. After so many little hikes around Tahoe, and at elevation, I felt sure I could do this 2.5-mile hike to the summit. Well, no such luck. This hike is a BEAST. If we made it half a mile up, I’d be surprised. The elevation gains were brutal, some of the step ups on the rocks were 18 to 24 inches high! My knees were not happy, and yet I vowed to one day return.

Fast forward, I ventured on the trail again, after several months of working out in early 2023. This time I made it a little further than before, but still, I hit a wall. While on the trail I noticed a gentleman making the trek with poles. This gave me an idea, the next time I took to the trail I'd make sure I had trekking poles, and proper hiking shoes, for traction and ease. So as I hiked back down, a little defeated, I thought, “one day I’ll make it to the top”.

As many are aware, the Lahaina fires in August of 2023 wreaked havoc on everything. It turned our lives upside down. Displaced for nearly a month, we were the lucky few. I lost my gym and fitness community as they scattered, finding ways to live and cope. Going through something difficult, weighs heavy, makes time feel like it’s going by slower, it puts added pain into your body in ways that feel suffocating, and yet we endure.

Fast forward to December 2024, 18 months after the fire, and another household move, this time back to the Bay Area, we headed back to our place on Maui. This time a three-week respite to see our Maui ohana, family forged through a love of a special place and strengthened through the fire. When we made the decision to visit Maui in December, I made the decision I would try the Pali trail once more, but this time I’d go prepared. I packed trekking poles, hiking shoes, a sun shirt and my silly hat. I wasn’t sure how far I’d go, but I single phrase stuck in my mind, “your mind will always give up faster than your body.”

So, on January 2nd, despite unyielding negative self-chatter poking at what little self-resolve I had mustered up, I headed out to the Pali trail. As you know, I made it! But all the internal challenges leading up to the point when I set foot on the trail, was nothing compared to the mental and emotional difficulty (never mind the physical) that ensued.

Every time I wanted to give up, which was more than once and less than twenty times, I employed self-soothing techniques. I stopped, breathed deeply, connected with my surroundings. When a young woman passed me (she really came out of nowhere) and a runner lapped me, I kept going. One foot in front of another. I held myself in grace, knowing I had done hard things before, and I was more resilient than even I realized. I remembered that my mind would give up before my body and I kept going.

Through the physical pain, the sun blaring down on my face, I continued on. When I reached the top, though I was still afraid of the descent, it was in that moment that I truly internalized my capacity as a human. And I am here to tell you, that if I, who suffered terribly of debilitating anxiety, depression, and worry can conquer my demons, so can you! Whatever challenge you are facing, whatever heartache, you have a depth of resilience that is available to you.

So, let me know what’s on your bucket list for 2025. Is it a resolution, a goal, something exciting (and frightening at the same time)? Let me know, and I'll be cheering you on, because you've got this!

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Silvia on the Pali